haha

Dave Chappelle (yeah, that funny black guy on Comedy Central):

I was in Mississippi, ordering some food and I said to the guy, "I would like to have . . ." and before I even finished my sentence, he said, "The chicken!"

I could not believe it. I could not believe that shit. This man was absolutely right. How did he know I was going to get some chicken?

I asked him, "How did you know I was going to get some chicken?". He looked at me like I was crazy. He said, "C'mon buddy. C'monnn buddy. Now everybody knows that some of you walk through the goddamn door, you're going get some chicken. Ain't no secret down here that blacks and chickens are quite fond of one another."

Then I finally understood what he was saying and I got upset. I wasn't even mad, I was just upset. I wasn't ready to hear that shit. All these years, I thought I liked chicken because it was delicious. Turns out I'm genetically predisposed to liking chicken!

It's like I got no say in the matter. I'm afraid of eating it in public. I don't know want somebody to see me and say something. "Look at him! He loves it! Just like it said in the encyclopedia! Look at how happy he looks!".

Blood talk

Have you noticed that people blame only two ethnicities for certain flaws they have? If they're bad tempered and/or drink a lot, they'd say it's "the Irish" in them. If they're only bad-tempered, it's their "Italian blood".

I never hear anyone saying, "Ah, blame my stubbornness to the German in me" or "I'm not comfortable expressing my feelings because of my British ancestry".

Lucky bastard

My cousin's on an all-expenses-paid tour in Holland and Germany for 3 weeks because he's with Rathskellar.

Last night, got so drunk, I threw up for the first time in about 3 years.

I forgot to mention that I watched MSSD's graduation last week. I was called to sub so it was like I got paid for watching the ceremonies. The reason I brought it up is because Marvin Miller, being a MSSD alum, was one of the speakers. He's the guy who is trying to found the first signing-based town, Laurent. He spoke about his plans for it. He isn't content with just starting a deaf town, he wants it to be a great town by any measure. I like that attitude. However, I have to wonder if Laurent would hurt the deaf communities in the rest of America. In fact, as much as Gallaudet University has helped deaf people, it has probably weakened the deaf communities elsewhere by sucking in so many bright young deafies. The same goes for RIT. I'd say California has the only halfway decent deaf communities other than those in DC and Rochester.

States I done touched. Hawaii's my Moby Dick.

create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

Bush's Tea party

Went to an anti-Bush party yesterday. It was cute. We spat watermelon seeds at Dubya's mug shot and played a pin-the-tail game (pinning Bush's head to Cheney's ass).

If I was a Eddie Izzard quote...

Which Eddie Izzard "Dressed to Kill" line are you? by Saphyne
Username
Eddie Izzard quote:	"'You’re fucking in here all the time, all the time! You’re in here with the fucking matches! In here with the fucking matches!' 'You don’t talk to me that way! You don’t talk to me that way! You fuck my wife? You fuck my wife? You fuck my wife? You fuck my wife? You fuck my wife?' 'I *am* your wife!' 'That doesn’t matter! That doesn’t matter! I say again, you fuck my wife?' 'All right, yes, I fucked your wife. I am your wife, and I fucked her.'"
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Because everyone's got an opinion about Iraq...

My biggest disappointment with what's going on in Iraq is Neo-Cons' absurdly pollyannaish they-will-throw-bonquets-of-roses-at-us-for-eternity post-war planning. Didn't it occur to the bigwigs to prepare for worst-case scenarios?

On the other hand, total security and prevention of violence aren't realistic ANYWHERE, including here in the States, not without a Big Brother-type totalitatrian government. For example, I can easily kill anyone if I want to. The police can only persecute me. They can't stop me unless they have telepathic powers like in "Minority Report". If I was suicidal, I'd be even more impossible to stop. I could even kill President Bush. I could demolish the Capitol building. I'm serious. I've been to the Oklahoma City bombing site and what shocked me was how far away the truck was from the federal building. I really could just drive by the Capitol on Pennslyvania Ave. and BOOM! Down goes the Capitol. It's amazing that it hasn't happened yet, when you think about it.

Note to FBI: I'm merely discussing hypothetical scenarios. I have no intentions whatsoever to bring them to reality :)

If I was a dictator...

If I ran this country, here's the biggest changes I'd make:

1) All forms of education be free. Universities, technical schools, all of them. Educational attainment shouldn't be dependent on one's (or their parents') financial fortunes.

2) To control population growth, which is a serious problem not just for this nation but the entire world, the government fully funds vastecomies. If a woman goes through it without having any children, she receives a highest bonus. 1 kid, somewhat less money. 2 kids, even less. And so on. Have you noticed that the families that are least able to afford children have the most children?! Now they have incentives not to reproduce like rabbits. In addition to controlling population growth, poor families would be better able to take care of their individual children. Less kids, more attention and resources they individually get.

3) Legalize drugs. This website offers an excellent rationale (read "Step 2")...and read this for a more in-depth look...

4) Make sure no kids grow up in poverty. Conservatives basically believe poor people deserve their fate because they don't work hard enough. Even if that is true, it doesn't mean the kids have to suffer because of their parents' laziness (or fate). I don't think handing more welfare money is the answer. Instead, the government should supply poor families with actual food and vitamin supplements (poor kids tend to be malnourished), clean housing (not like the HUDs of today), and free public transportation.

5) Driving and parking penalty fees be dependent on the guilty party's income. $100 is like a million dollars to a poor person, 1 cent to a rich person. It ain't right. How the hell the police would know somebody's income? Have their PDAs connected to IRS which has that information and automatically calculate the fee based on a formula (i.e. percentage of the last year's income). Yeah, I get too many traffic tickets :)