My hair was overdue for a little trim. I went to this Sicilian barbershop in my real hometown in MD. It had the atmosphere of a 1950s Brooklyn barbershop. All guys come out looking like marines. I gave this old senile looking barber a specific instruction: I only wanted a trim—don't take too much out, just take away about 1/3-1/2 inch.

The guy stared at the note, his mouth moving slowly, taking about a minute to absorb those 3 sentences. Good rule of the thumb: if your barber can't read without moving his mouth, run. It's like being unable to count without using your fingers.

The first thing he did: chopped a strip off my head with an electronic razor then asked me if that was what I wanted. What was I supposed to say? "Nah, I prefer it a bit longer than that, sir. Glue the hair back on."

The result? Another marine look-alike. It could be worse. A friar cut, for instance :)